If you want to stop divorce, you have to convince the person
what wants to divorce you to give the relationship another try. This isn’t always possible, but it’s
absolutely necessary if you have a chance of stopping a divorce. A divorce can be stopped at virtually any
stage—before it’s filed or just before it needs the final paperwork. The earlier you stop a divorce, the more
likely it is that the divorce won’t be restarted, at least not anytime soon.
So to stop a divorce, you must convince the person to give
the relationship another chance. If you have been begging the other person to
give you another try or pleading for them to get back together with you, stop
now. This might seem counterproductive, as if now that the person has less
resistance it will make it easier for them to divorce you. But your pleading
probably wasn’t doing anything but convincing them that divorce is a good idea
anyway. Who wants to be around someone who is behaving that way?
If you can start acting more mature and behave in a more
pleasant manner, it might surprise the other person and help stop divorce. Explain that you really don’t want the
divorce and you want another chance in a calm way. The person already knows this so you
screaming or carrying on won’t help your chances. Just make it clear that you’re hurt and very
sad, and you really want another chance.
You might be surprised how the other person reacts when you change your
behavior.
You can also show a mature side of yourself that the other
person might not have seen over the last several weeks and suggest marital or
couples counseling to stop divorce. Counseling has worked for million of
couples and your relationship could benefit from it, too. If you can get the
other person to agree to couples counseling, then you have precious time before
they file for or attempt to finalize a divorce to convince them to give you and
the relationship another chance.
During counseling you’ll have the opportunity to show the
person why they fell in love with you.
You can remind them why you’re together in the first place. And if you can show honest effort in wanting
to deal with the problems that come up during the counseling—and many probably
will—that might be enough to convince the other person not only to stop divorce
temporarily, but permanently.
When you succeed and stop divorce, you must remember that
the person was about to divorce you and it would be easy enough for them to
change his or her mind and file for divorce later. Having already thought about divorce and maybe
even having gone far enough as to file for divorce at one time makes the
decision to file again easier. So be
aware of the state of your relationship, and perhaps continue counseling. It’s easier to stop divorce temporarily than
to have a good relationship for the long term.
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