
First, if you were the one who made the decision to end the
marriage and now you wonder, how can I stop my divorce? you should realize that
you’re in a much better position than most people trying to save their
relationships. You’ll need to swallow
your pride and go to your spouse with an apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that now
you regret it. Explain that you no
longer want the divorce, and maybe even that you never wanted it but you spoke
out of anger and you were wrong.
This might seem a difficult step, but it’s necessary. Since you were the one to bring up the issue
of divorce, your spouse might have started seriously considering and thinking
that it’s a good idea, too. When you
want to know, “How to stop my divorce,” you need to discover what your spouse
thinks of the idea and make it clear that you were wrong. Unless they’ve had a lot of time and reason
to decide that you were right and divorce is the best step, you can probably
save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.
If you’re wondering, “How can I stop my divorce when I
didn’t want it in the first place,” then you have your work cut out for
you. You can explain, without judgment
or accusations, that you think the marriage is worth saving and that you don’t
want a divorce. Chances are that you’ve
done this, more than once. But the way
you say it can make a difference.
It’s important for you to be very mature and calm about
it. That’s not always easy to do. Divorce is an emotional and painful
thing. But it’s one thing to cry while
explaining that you want to stay married, and entirely another to yell or
dissolve into hysterics. If you scream,
accuse or point fingers at your spouse, you’re giving him or her even more
reason to want to get away from you. If you want to learn ‘how to stop my
divorce’ you have to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward your
spouse for ever suggesting it in the first place.
You also have to be willing to work on your problems. You
must agree that the relationship can’t go back to the way it was, but must
change for the better. Suggest marital
counseling. Explain, “I want to stop my
divorce,” but make it clear you know your spouse was unhappy with the way
things were, and you’re ready to make them better.
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