Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a
breakup. A breakup is a strange
thing. Most things in life, the more you
do them, the easier it becomes to do.
With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past,
they certainly don't become easier to go through.
After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely
terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship
was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldn't try to get back withyour ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your
ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.
Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable
pattern. When you first meet someone
everything is wonderful and new. They
can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is
there things in the relationship change.
The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother
you now.
There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn't be spoken for
relationships. After a couple get
comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of
the relationship. It takes work and
effort to maintain a relationship.
Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other
person wants out of the relationship completely
Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is
worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it's over? You need some answers on how get your ex
back. Here are four steps you can take.
1.Say sorry
Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back
methods. Even if it doesn't get your exback, it's usually the best first step.
Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame
yourself for everything. Remember, it
takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is
critical.
Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait
you into an argument. The biggest irony
of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings
something else up, don't get defensive.
Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.
2.Sit down and talk things out
If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit
down and talk. Whatever you don't beg,
plead, cry, or force your ex into this.
If they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have to
keep your emotions in check. This isn't
the time to get into a fight again. Make
it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the
discussion.
You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk
strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better
results. It is best if you can get a
therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at
all possible.
3.Give some space
This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your exback. You have to remember just because
you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some
space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will
give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in touch with them all the time,
they won't be able to miss you.
4.Show them you care about yourself
Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem
desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them
to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their
message, you're not doing yourself any favors.
Hang out with friends. Go to
movies, go to concerts, go to the mall.
Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.
It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be wondering what you're
doing. If you're out and your cell rings
and its your ex, don't answer it. Let
the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to
call them back. Tell them you were busy,
and you didn't have time to call them back.
This will probably shock them.
You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.
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