When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred
Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have
loved at all.” When I lost love, I felt
the whole world had collapsed around me.
I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love
of your life.
I think it is important to remember that every relationship
has a natural lifespan. In Junior High,
that’s about four days. As we get older,
the lifespan increases. But, there are
certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go
awry. Most of us will only have one
great love in our lives. The other
relationships will terminate. That’s why
when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.
In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about
ratcheting up our relationship. Her
lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment. As we were spending most of our time there
anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.
But there is something significant about having separate
places. I know I lost love because I
couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level. I guess the time span of our relationship was
up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.
Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s
just say things got out of hand. Word
about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she
dumped me. I lost love over the events
of one night.
But, when I think back on what really happened, the events
of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more
commitment. I seriously don’t think I
would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in. I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the
direction it was taking.
I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my
ex. But I don’t think she was the love
of my life, my soul mate. Instead, she
was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time. I loved her.
I still love her. But, she is not
the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.
I went through a period of mourning the relationship and
analyzing what went wrong. I really was
hurt when she said she wanted to end things.
Sure, I understood that I had hurt her.
But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.
I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way
they were. But, every relationship has
to grow or die. Because I wasn’t willing
to let it grow, it had to die. In every
relationship, there is a time to die.
And, for me, this was it. That’s
how I lost love.
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